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Why Straight is The Default?

It was Friday night and I thought that was the perfect time to stay home and full my life with romantic comedies. Actually, not any romantic comedy, I wanted to truly watch “Love, Simon”. Why? I really don’t know. I saw the trailer, thought it was cute, and could be the perfect way to spend my night, easy, fun, and with a teen love story. But, things got out of control.

art by @hoodzpahdesign

As Raf is traveling, I can be as girlie as Elle Woods without him not getting none of the references that appear between the lines of the characters and ruining the movie. In other words, getting bored watching it, which pisses me off. And I hate having to explain jokes when I am watching a movie, either you pause to explain and miss the vibe of the scene when returning it, or you just miss the next 1 minute trying to explain the joke that is now old in the movie. In the end, I am a great person, I don’t make him watch romantic comedies anymore then he is happy and I am happier.

I don’t watch full trailers anymore, I think studios don’t know how to make a pitch, most of the time they show a scene from every part of the movie and after two minutes, they are too long nowadays too, you kind of know everything about the film. (Spoiler alert!) So, I didn’t know “Love, Simon” was about a boy discovering his gay identity during high school and that’s why I lost my control. As my friends, always describe me as the gayest person ever (in a heterosexual body, if that is possible), I am sure I was gay in my past life and even more sure, I was the one that raised the flag first, that’s why when I started watching and discovered it was a gay teen story, I got excited and understood why it’s 92% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes.

Simon is a very well constructed and complex character for a teen movie, and the movie is fresh because of the actor that plays him. Since the beginning of the film, I could feel his fear that no one could know he was gay, he was even hiding from himself. He didn’t want to accept that. And I got emotional because I remembered some of my friends and how difficult it was for them too.

My closest friends are gay, two got “out of the closet” in high school, one during university, and two after 25 years old, besides that one had to "come out" three times to his family because apparently they have short term memory loss, how crazy is that? I participated in the “coming out” of most of them, that’s why I felt so related to Simon. Each of my friends has a particular “coming out” story, but all of them have one thing in common: they all thought something was wrong with them. Sad, but true. You can’t be your true self because all the references that you read/received/learned your whole life, you couldn’t relate with any. I am a woman and a lot of times I felt that way and still feels, but I could go to my mom and be open about all the things that were on my mind, meanwhile, my friends couldn’t even have an open conversation with themselves about all the things they were feeling, because they felt it was "wrong" to feel this way.

If you think that the world has changed and these things don’t happen anymore, it is to blind yourself. Just because we live on our social media bubble (and sometimes in real life), where everyone looks happy, confident and proud of themselves, doesn’t mean this is not still happening around the world, especially in small cities where people are still not “open-minded” enough, there are a lot of cultures that you can’t be open about it and there are a lot of hypocrites that “loves” the community but “not my son/daughter” rule applies very hard.

Believe it or not, homosexuals still have to “come out”, as Simon said: “why don’t straight people have to come out?” Because, we (heterosexuals), are still seen as “normal”, and if you are anything other than that, you are the exception, you are the one that is “wrong” so you “have” the duty to explain to the society why do you love a person from the same sex. I know, it sounds so stupid and out of date, but get real and open your eyes, it’s still not. For these reasons, I loved the movie and Simon.

“Love, Simon” is the first openly gay teen movie, where there is a real kiss, not a superficial one just to look “modern”. The struggle is real. Simon’s father changing the subject and speaking really fast when his son tells the family he is gay, you can see that his reaction is a mixed feeling between frustration and fear. He needs some time to process that information and both characters give the space for it. And when they talk again, his dad took all my tears explaining to Simon that he loves him for who he is and that’s who he really is. Although, he needed time not because he wanted to “accept” what his son told him, but to understand that he failed as a parent for had made the wrong jokes, for wanting him to be something that he is not, for not had really seen his son. In consequence, I almost entered in my TV and hugged them too.

art by @hoodzpahdesign

Another highlight is the conversation with his mom, confronting her if she knew or not and why didn’t she tell him it is pure, pretty, and real. When she said that she knew but she couldn’t tell him because it was something that it was not hers and then she finishes saying “You get to exhale now Simon, you get to be more you than you’ve been in a very long time.” I broke into tears. I needed a moment to exhale too. It was a powerful scene. I’m not a mother but I see some people that I would love to go to them and say “you are gay” to end with their struggle, however, it’s not mine, I can help them discover their identity yet I can’t spare them from feeling.

I loved Simon. I loved the movie (even though the other characters were not well constructed as his, but who cares right?). I didn’t love his friends. I only loved the parents in the end. It’s a teen movie, but it’s real. It’s a great role model for the young generation. It’s modern. They love Game of Thrones too. They make great jokes like Jack saying to Simon: “This was huge when I was growing up” and Simon answer: “So was Bill Cosby”, sad but true! It was well pointed out. And the message is universal: “You deserve everything you want

You do!

I do.

Everyone does.



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